Not Untamed, But Childish

Joan Crawford’s all-talkie debut, Untamed, begins as a drama with music set in South America, then makes a choppy transition to a society romance in which the lovers are reconciled only after she attempts to murder him. The film’s tone shifts with every new scene. At no time does any character in Untamed resemble any human being who ever lived, but its flamboyant unreality gives the film a vaguely comic, unintentional charm.

-Scott Eyman, The Speed of Sound

So I watched it for the madness.

It was something alright.

It is all over place, with a dash of South American exoticism. They're acting as if South America (as a monolith) is the anals of hell, dear lord.

Anyway, wow this lady sounds a lot like Joan Crawford, I thought in the first five seconds. You doofus, she is Crawford! And this is how I learn that she was in The Unknown. I saw her onscreen way before I saw her in Mildred Pierce. Fuck my stupid baka brain.

See, the thing that I could not take from this movie, which sadly made it more painful than funny, was that her character (B-I-N-G-O, and Bingo was her name-o) was supposed to be naive, but came across childish. And it wasn't Crawford's fault (this was her first talkie, she still sounds a bit Southern even), but the writing's. And it's not even in a teenager way, she acts like she's five years old.

And then pulls a 180 and she acts like she's ten when we get to the high-society bit.

I did guffaw at the improvised boxing match, and how willing Bingo was to punch people she didn't like.

The Artist

From an early talkie, to a late silent (really late, 2011).

I had to rewrire my brain for this one. It's not supposed to emulate a silent film, but to be a modern silent. It's not supposed to be historically accurate, but to be like Singin' in the Rain, grabbing the myth and twisting it to tell its story.

Because it was filmed on digital, and the camera acts very modern, and the acting is still very modern talkie.

Afterwards, I was on board. At the end of the day, it's a celebration, of the silents, of the talkies (musicals), of melodrama. And I had a blast.

It's weird, because it won so many awards and it didn't create this wave of modern silent movies. Like La La Land didn't create a wave of musicals. Sigh.

And it has a top tier dog. Such a good boy. Deserves all the pats.

Films Watched

• Vendémiaire (1919)


• The Phantom Fiend (1932)


• L'engrenage (1919)


• Wicked: For Good (2025)


• I Lived With You (1933)


• Belle (2021)

Books being read (for leisure)

• Anno Dracula by Kim Newman


• The Speed of Sound by Scott Eyman

Books on hold

• Terrarium by João Barreiros and Luís Filipe Silva

Arts

• 3 finished pieces (Erich Keith of Tempête sur l'Asie, Karl von Marwitz, Otto Becker)


• No dumb doodles :(

Words Written

• Barbara's Great Wine Search: 0 words, ugh


• Pre-canon AadA fic: 163 words (total 762 words), ugh


• Else & Paul bonding moment: 129 words (total 782 words) - pretty much finished!


• Miscellaneous short fics: two fics (total 200 words)

Total: 492 words

Bringing you this, a "documentary"/"interview" with Asta Nielsen in 1968! Everything is in quotes because it's very clear with all those multiple cameras it's staged. But it was nice seeing her hanging out at her catholic-chique home (with her gay boytoy? I think that's her gay boytoy), reminiscing about how awesome she was. No fake humility, she knows she's awesome and loves listening to compliments.

I dunno, it's just nice that we got reports of people who worked on film way back in the silent days. We have interview footage of Alice Guy, pioneer woman filmmaker! Pretty sure there's a radio interview with Musidora somewhere (wouldn't be able to experience it, blah French)!

To calm down my boiling blood, I'm watching Dr. Mabuse (der spieler) (the first part). It's been literal ages and boy, is this HD copy contrasted to hell and back. Sometimes I can barely tell people's facial features!

Which leads us to Bad Film Restoration, which is exactly what it says. TLDR, less is more. Don't go crazy on the cloning and noise reduction tool.

Conrad Veidt, ein magier der Leinwand disappeared from YouTube after many years of it being up. The channel was terminated. It was full of German movie documentaries you can't find anywhere else. Copyright is, indeed, against art preservation.

The documentary is on the Internet Archive for anyone's viewing pleasure. No subs though.